Words on Happiness Volume I

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Blurb:

This short book explores tips for happiness. Happiness here is not defined as enjoyment, pleasure, or warm fuzzies. Instead, happiness is the realization that life provides times of laughter, joy, and solace. But, it also provides times of neutrality, pain, and battle. Sometimes the battle scars are so deep that we should rightfully not have survived to tell our stories. Happiness is the acceptance of all these times and the courage to live through them.

Excerpt:

Words on Happiness:


Walk in the other guy's shoes. Before you do, sanitize them so you don't get foot fungus. After you've walked a mile in them, give them back, and respect that he might not be willing to walk in yours yet.


Give of yourself. When you die, what you've held back will be forgotten, but what you've given will be remembered by all those whose lives you've touched.


Most people act out of a desire to have their wants and needs met. They do not act out of vengeance or specifically to hurt you. If you are hurt in the process, realize that it's probably easier for the them to ignore the pain you're feeling than to deal with their own issues.


When you speak softly and carry a big stick, try not to do so in the house of someone who keeps a loaded pistol near his/her bedside.


When upset, make sure to tell the people you're talking with afterward whether or not you're looking to vent your frustration or for them to help you fix your problem. Your friends need guidance for when to listen and when to speak.


Deliver the goods you've promised. If you can't, chocolate always helps to smooth things over.


Keep your sense of awe and wonderment.


Spend time near flowering trees.


Root for the underdog, but don't necessarily place a bet on them with anything other than Monopoly money.


Hold your friends close, your enemies closer, and your family closest.


Smile, even when you don't feel like it.


Allow yourself anger, frustration, sadness, despair, envy, bitterness, etc., but schedule a time to end those things so that you can again feel hope.


What isn't said speaks as loudly as what is said.


Make time to ponder and reflect.


Own a teddy bear to hug when you're down. People are great for hugs, but teddy bears aren't ever too tired or too busy for a good squeeze session.

A New Direction for This Blog

Very shortly, I'm going to be changing the direction of the posts I take on this blog. I haven't been writing here simply because the things I've been learning in general probably aren't of much use to anyone. I have been learning a lot of things lately about self publishing, though.

So, for the forseeable future, my posts will be related to self publishing. I will soon be putting up some of my covers and be talking about my upcoming works. If you have been following this blog in the past and are not interested in self publishing, particularly within the field of erotica or erotic romance, you may want to unfollow.

I have kept my writing life separate from this blog for a long time because I know that erotica and erotic romance isn't for everyone. I respect that some people simply don't like reading it or don't want to read about it. But, since this is my blog and I have been learning a great deal lately, I'm going to proceed in the way that I feel is going to be most beneficial to myself personally and to my readers in general.

So, be forwarned that this blog will turn into something that may quickly become NSFW due to the cover images I will be placing within the posts and also on the sides menus.

Ebooks

I now realize I read ebooks almost twice as fast as paper books. I can read at the gym and make the text larger while I'm on the cardio equipment. My book light works well in the movie room at the gym too. I find myself reading on my cell phone when I find a spare minute here or there...

I think I might be getting eye strain, though, because there are some days in which I read for pleasure for twelve or more hours per day.

That might also be the reason I've neglecting my blogs lately. I've been absorbed in some really great fiction reading lately.

Weight Loss Trick

One thing that I've struggled with but that has been immensely effective for me in my weight loss journey is to allow myself to splurge one day per week without feeling guilt over it.

No, this doesn't mean that all day I eat whatever I want to the point of gorging myself, though I do have days when this happens. When I'm on vacation, I do eat whatever I want for one day of the vacation.

I have had to learn to let go of the notion that food and guilt are related to each other at all. I have yo-yoed over and over again because I've thought that if I "blew it" for the day that I might as well eat and eat and then just start over the next day. Only the next day doesn't net better results.

Instead, I have to remember that food is my friend, not my enemy. I need it to live. As a result, if I splurge and actually plan my splurging in advance of doing it, I don't feel guilt.

Yes, I'm Still Alive...And Much Thinner

I haven't posted to this blog in a considerable amount of time. It seems I have a difficult time focusing my energies on more than one task at once. During these past few months, I've been on a weight loss journey. I'm almost at my goal weight, and even if I don't lose the remaining 10 pounds, I'm pretty happy with the journey. I'm fitting into smaller clothes then I ever have and had had anticipated I would even after hitting my goal weight.

In March when I became serious about losing weight, I was in a size 18. I'm now in a size 8. I've lost 40 pounds total.

The method I've used to lose the weight is exercise and healthy eating. I'm not on a diet. I have use a couple of simple rules that govern how I eat most of the time.

Eat only when I'm hungry

Stop Eating when I'm satisfied

Most of what I eat is food that looks like something my great grandparents would recognize as food (ie, less artificial colors, flavors, sweeteners, processed food, etc.).

Exercise most days of the week

So, what I'd like to share in a few blog posts are things that have made the whole journey easier for me. Today's lesson I've learned is that when I'm in the grocery store, I tend to stick on the outside aisles where the fruit, veggies, meat, and dairy are. When I need to cut through the aisles to get to the cash register, I pick the pet food aisle or greeting card/cosmetics aisle to get from one side of the store to the other. That way, I'm not tempted to buy cookies, chips, etc.

Urg! Veggies

I've learned not to buy a bunch of perishable food the week before going on a week long, out of state vacation. I didn't eat nearly enough of it and half of it that I couldn't eat went bad before I came back.

The asparagus, in particular, was really nasty, as were the portabello mushrooms. I should have known better, but I was overly veggie zealous.

Kroger and Shell Gas

**I don't get paid to write stuff like this...**

My coworker told me the other day that Shell stations have an agreement with Kroger. I don't know if this is local to Nashville, but I scanned my Kroger Saver's Plus card in the credit card reader of the pump at a Shell gas station before swiping my credit card. It saved me ten cents per gallon. My receipt even said that I saved ten cents a gallon from doing it. So, my gas price went from 2.55 to 2.45. It even took the price down on the reader above the grade of gasoline when I pressed the 87 button.

Made my day!

3D Avatar

I recently saw my first 3D movie, Avatar. I enjoyed the movie a lot, and would consider going to it again. (No, I'm not some paid spokesperson that I have to disclose with these new laws regarding bloggers).

I had to wear the special glasses over the ones I normally wear. I have a bit of a small nose, so they barely fit.

Call me old fashioned, but I was expecting to the the 3D glasses where one lens is red and the other blue. I was wondering when this changed?

Also, I felt a little sick to my stomach during the movie, but I wasn't sure if it was from the 3D effects or something else. I did enjoy the 3D aspects of the movie, and I thought Avatar was a good one to try it out, though it was a bit expensive.

Recipe for Spaghetti Squash

I got this from cooks.com.

1 spaghetti squash
2 tbsp. butter
Pepper

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cut squash in half lengthwise. Remove seeds. Spread butter over each half. Place flesh side down on cookie sheet. Bake 1 hour. Using spoon, loosen flesh into spaghetti-like strands. Serve with pepper and butter.


I served this with spaghetti sauce over it after pulling the squash onto a plate.

We first tried eating it without the spaghetti sauce, but it was pretty tasteless with just the butter and pepper. After adding the sauce, it tasted just the pasta. The texture is similar to angel hair. This is a dish I would make again in a heartbeat, though it was too much food for the two of us. Next time I'm going to only cook half of it and try wrapping the other half for cooking the next day or two days later. I imagine cooking it all and then reheating wouldn't be very good.

Toilet Paper

Lately I've read a few articles discussing how old growth forests are being felled for Americans' obsession with soft toilet paper. In the past, I hadn't thought about where my toilet paper comes from, but I am usually conscious to reuse my paper, ever increasing my pile of scratch paper before finally calling a piece completely used (think loose leaf paper).

The first time I read about the old growth forests being used for super-soft toilet paper, I pushed the thought out of my mind. Soft toilet paper makes my day a little brighter...

But I keep reading about these old growth forests being felled. Canada is one of the places this is happening, which I think is a little too close to home. I'm not saying that chopping down the rain forest is a good thing, but it's easier to push the reality behind (yes I do mean behind) my own actions when the trees are so far away.

Social and environmental responsibility aren't always easy. I have to rethink my shopping habits.

Screenplays

When I attended Killer Nashville (www.killernashville.com) last weekend, I learned many things. One of the shockers to me was the length of screen plays. I attended a panel on tricks novelists can learn from screen plays. Screen plays are much shorter than novels. I heard over and over again that they average around 100 pages, but many times less. No wonder so many times the book is better than the movie! I hadn't realized how much less room there was in a screen play to get plot across.

A typical novel runs around 100,000 words, or around 400 typed Microsoft Word pages when double spaced and size 12 font.

Grapefruit

Eating lots of grapefruit can make certain medications not work properly or may actually interact with medicine.

This is a good reason for me to never go onto the grapefruit diet.

Egg Beaters

I tried Egg Beaters recently. They aren't half bad. As far as scrambled eggs go, I couldn't tell a difference between them and real eggs. When preparing the scrambled eggs, I used olive oil, and other times I used vegetable oil. In both cases, the scrambled eggs were pretty good.

Then I tried the store brand. I couldn't tell a difference between the store brand and the Egg Beaters brand except that they're colored a slightly different shade of yellow. Both were yummy. Bye bye bad fats and cholesterol!

I've not tried baking with Egg Beaters yet. If any of you have used them in recipes, please comment on your success or lack thereof. I'm not sure I want to invest my time and other ingredients until I know about a few easy baking recipes in which the Egg Beaters worked well.

Pennsylvania Dutch

According to the Book Crossing Over: One Woman's Exodus from Amish Life by Ruth Irene Garrett with Rick Farrant, there is no word in Pennsylvania Dutch for love. I'm referencing page 28 of that book. Crossing over is Ruth Irene Garrett's true story about leaving the Old Order Amish Community in Kalona, Iowa. She says (and I'm paraphrasing) that when the "English" concept of love is referred to by the Amish that they use the German word for it, "liebe."

Twinkies, Paint, and Toothpaste

When I was at Mammoth Cave in Kentucky last week, the tour guide was talking about the various minerals on the walls of the cave. There is a mineral there that is in Twinkies, Paint, and Toothpaste, though I can't remember for the life of me which mineral it is. The tour guide said that they asked the Twinkie people why it's in there and that the Twinkie people said it's what gives the cream filling the fluffiness.

I'll never think about Twinkies the same way again, though I do love them :)

Audio Books

The Nashville Public Library has downloadable audio books! They use two different services, Overdrive and Netlibrary. So far I've only used Netlibrary. This service doesn't allow the listener to burn CDS but does allow for downloading to a computer, MP3, etc. At first I wondered how they could restrict the burning of CDs, but then I realized that the book is one giant file. It doesn't fit onto a CD. The reader has to agree to delete the file after the 3 week checkout period. Overdrive does allow CDs to be burned but the file stops working after the checkout period.

I'm already halfway through my second book. I recently bought a treadmill with built-in speakers, so I've been taking my computer downstairs and just running a chord between my laptop and the treadmill so that the book plays directly off the nice speakers. I like the added motivation to exercise.

I love libraries :)

Website Design

After several unsuccessful attempts to design jenbluekissed.com using a few different software products, free trial downloads, and basically ripping some of my hair from my head, I was about ready to throw in the towel a few weeks ago. Do I really need a website?

My frustration wasn't with html code or anything as advanced as that. No, I don't understand html code and probably never will. I couldn't get my pages to link up to each other using graphic based software.

Thank the stars I found www.wix.com. I'm almost finished with my website design. After a few hours I had accomplished more using Wix than I had in several months using Web Easy. My website should be up soon, I'm already thinking of ways I can make it even better. Now that I know I won't need a daily dose of banging my head against the wall to line up my pictures or insert text, I'm a whole lot happier. :)

The Squirrels Are Smart Critters

The squirrels have managed to knock down the bird feeder again. After they chewed through the rope holding the bird feeder in place, my husband replaced the rope with some metal twine. We thought we were all set, but the squirrels pulled the twine out of the clamp.

Keep in mind that I couldn't undo the clamp without asking my hubby to grab the pliers. The squirrels, on the other hand, managed to do so within one day.

The poor birds! They get to gorge on seed for a few days while it is spilled all over the deck, but then it takes a few days to get the feeder fixed and back into service.

Statue of Liberty

On the Today Show this morning, they released information that the crown of the statue will be reopened to the public starting in July in 2009. They're going to do a lottery type system to determine who can go up there because for space limitations not everyone who enters the statue proper can go to the crown.

I visited New York back in 1998 and was in the Statue of Liberty and also inside the crown. At the time I was quite impressed, but surprised at how long it took to get all the way up there and how narrow the stairway is. I don't think I've been on a scarier staircase since.

Something else the Today show mentioned and showed pictures of was that the torch was replaced in the 1980s when the country celebrated the Statue of Liberty's 100th birthday. I had no idea that it wasn't the original torch. I also didn't know that when France shipped the statue to the US, that they had manufactured the entire thing whole and shipped it. I assumed before seeing the segment on the Today Show that it had to be at least partway assembled or partway manufactured in the US.

COBRA Subsidy

There are a few rules to the COBRA subsidy for the 65% payment of which I was formerly unaware. All these things pass into law and look great on paper, but when the rules finally come trickling down, there's always a catch. A few random things are included here.

There are income limitations that can make people ineligible for the subsidy. These limitations are based on adjusted gross income and vary depending on if a person is filing as single or married. If a person mistakenly doesn't read the paperwork closely enough and signs that they're eligible when they're not, the IRS will recoup the subsidy at tax time.

The money isn't coming directly from the government. Initially, the employer has to pay the subsidy amount and then the IRS reimburses the employer. Eligibility for the subsidy was 3-1-09, but in the case of my husband and I, we still haven't been reimbursed for our subsidy amount (we paid the full COBRA cost and now have insurance through my employer). This administrative hitch is the reason why.

You have to be involuntarily terminated by the employer to qualify for the subsidy. If you left voluntarily, tough cookies. (You'll still probably qualify for COBRA, just at the regular rate).

You can't be eligible to be covered under any other employer based coverage to be eligible for the subsidy. So, if you're spouse is still employed, but his/her insurance is crappy and covers nothing unless you pay a gigantic deductible, touch cookies. You don't qualify for the subsidy (technically--I have no way of knowing how the COBRA administrator or government would ever check up on this, but it is part of the official rules).